grassleaves: Mom saw porn on the dash. “Are those people’s butts??” “Ohhh, it’s just my dash so I can’t control what people put on it…so it might’ve been.” (it was clearly butts) “Well, you should put a message on there that says ‘no butts please’.” OKAY. EVERYONE. NO BUTTS PLEASE. NONE. NO BUTTS.
Things I Say While Driving
Me: Fuck you, oh. Fuck. You.
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Good luck in the slow lane there, bud.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: Lolol your car's a piece of shit.
Me: If I miss that green light because of you...
Me: You're gonna cut me off? You better hope you have a damn good accelerator, bitch.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: Nope, roof rack.